


Skylighter

by rememberwhenyoutried



Category: Homestuck, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 22:30:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2405264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rememberwhenyoutried/pseuds/rememberwhenyoutried
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Kaijus keep coming, but the brave Alternian pilots keep defeating them. Until today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skylighter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [letmetellyousomething](https://archiveofourown.org/users/letmetellyousomething/gifts).



_This is the Drift,_ they thought together, skimming the surface of an ocean of shared memories. _This is where we are truly ourselves. One voice. One intention._

_One punch._

The right fist of the Jaeger _Imperial Vanguard_ made contact with the skull of the monstrous beast rising from the sea beneath it. Bone—or whatever the creature used instead of bone—splintered, and the Kaiju howled.

_Shattered left ganderbulb, vision impaired. Further strikes from this angle would seem wise._

_Plasma cannon,_ they thought, and in the belly of _Imperial Vanguard_ a bound and limbless yellowblood shook as the impulse was transmitted directly to her hindbrain; she grunted with pain and redirected her psionics to the task of charging the cannon embedded in the Jaeger's fist. In the cockpit, a computer voice translated her muttered cursing into a smooth and inoffensive monotone: **Plasma Cannon Charged.**

With one shared thought, Makkoh and Raylei fired.

~

Partial transcript of Trollian channel Grumpy Shut-In Entertainment Hour.  
  
AG: This is the 8est one yet!  
CG: YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT. IT’S ALWAYS THE BEST ONE YET AND JAEGER PILOTS ARE ALWAYS “ULTIM8 8ADASSES” AND YOU’RE GOING TO BE A PILOT ONE DAY.  
AG: Yeah, just as soon as I find someone awesome enough to Drift with me.  
AG: And none of that ever stops 8eing a thing that is true. Look at that punch!  
CT: D --> This is e%traordinarily gratifying  
GA: Yes Oh My Goodness I Am Enthralled  
GA: Left Hook Right Hook Oh My  
CG: YOU’VE BEEN PRACTICING SARCASM AGAIN, HAVEN’T YOU?  
GA: I Dont Know What You Mean  
CG: SOLLUX SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE THAT INTERDIMENSIONAL TRANSCEIVER, ALL IT GETS USED FOR IS APPALLING HORNLESS ALIEN SOAP OPERAS AND DEPRESSINGLY PERSISTENT BONE-POLISHING OVER ALIEN PORNOGRAPHY.  
TA: hey fuck you.  
TA: iif the iimperiial navy ii2 goiing to hang a hiighly 2ophii2tiicated panuniiver2al trackiing 2y2tem diirectly over our head2 they 2hould equiip iit wiith a better 2ecuriity 2y2tem and 2taff iit wiith troll2 capable of fiindiing theiir 2hame globe2 wiithout a map.  
AG: Plasma cannon right to the torso flange, yeah!!!!!!!!  
GA: Just What The Ocean Needs Another Gigantic Floating Corpse  
GA: The Parasites Are So Beautiful In The Spring  
TC: OnE oF tHoSe MaGiCaL lItTlE bUg BrOtHeRs FlOaTeD aLl Up In My SpEcIaL aReA oNcE  
CG: ...  
CG: AND?  
TC: iT wAs MoThErFuCkIn BeAuTiFuL  
CG: THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR YOUR ENLIGHTENING CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE DISCOURSE.  
GA: Dare I Ask What He Means By His Special Area  
CG: IT’S JUST A SIX FOOT SQUARE SECTION OF SAND FULL OF SHELLS HE FOUND ON THE BEACH.  
CG: HE SLEEPS THERE.

~

orbitalControl [OC] opened a channel to scarletVengeance [SV] and lonesomeDrifter [LD]  
  
OC: Vanguard crew! We have a second signature! Repeat: we have a second signature!  
LD: How did this happen? Why didn't you see it before?  
OC: It must have been hiding in the trench. Our scanners can't see that far down any more, not since Cullingfork took out the deep sea array.  
SV: A double event...? I thought it was only a theory.  
LD: A crackpot theory. Some local hacker has been flooding the server with dire predictions about double events for perigees.  
LD: Penter ignored them because literally every other word was "two" so it seemed we just had an obsessive on our hands.  
SV: I suppose you CAN have a fetish for the number two and make accurate predictions at the same time.  
LD: Vanguard: tracking data.  
IV: Contact in three minutes.  
SV: Control, we’ll call you back. Let’s get our suits back on, Raylei.  
  
Channel closed.

~

Partial transcript of Trollian channel Grumpy Shut-In Entertainment Hour.  
  
AG: Uh.  
AG: We’ve got a second Kaiju here.  
AG: Great 8ig lususfucker coming out of the water right in front of the Vanguard.  
AG: 8iggest one I’ve ever seen.  
TA: oh what’2 that?  
TA: a double event?  
TA: who could PO22IIBLY have prediicted that?  
CG: YOU’RE GOING TO BE UNBEARABLE ABOUT THIS FOR SWEEPS, AREN’T YOU?  
TA: ii told you.  
TA: ii even triied to tell them.  
GA: We Remember  
GA: It Was A Very Large Chalkboard You Wheeled Out To Fleet Headquarters  
GA: Im Amazed They Didnt Install You In A Jaeger Right There And Then  
GA: Surely The Quantity Of Mouth Lubricant You Expended Could Have Powered A Hundred Giant Killer Robots  
TA: but they diidn’t lii2ten and neiither diid you. only per2on who lii2tened wa2 aa.  
AG: Yeah, yeah, our 8ad, whatever. You go on a8out the num8er two all the time, how are we supposed to know when it’s important?  
TA: iit’2 alway2 iimportant.  
CG: I SUPPOSE YOU CAN HAVE A FETISH FOR THE NUMBER TWO AND MAKE ACCURATE PREDICTIONS AT THE SAME TIME.  
TA: fuck, thank you.

~

In the end, the _Imperial Vanguard_ lasted two minutes against the new Kaiju. Vriska would later observe, to the irritation of Makkoh and Raylei, that because of their degraded systems, operational unpreparedness, general incompetence, and total lack of awesome, they never stood a chance.

~

Imperial Distress Beacon 64, all-band broadcast:  
  
OC: This is the Orbital Control Platform to all military units local to the encroaching Kaiju at [coordinates enclosed]  
OC: The Kaiju, codename Skylighter, overwhelmed the Jaeger Imperial Vanguard and fired some kind of energy pulse directly upward.  
OC: The pulse struck our satellite network and propagated before the safeguards could react. All orbital defenses are down. All orbital deployment is down.  
OC: We cannot launch units.  
OC: Repeat: we cannot launch. No Jaeger reinforcements can be expected. Sea units must engage without support.  
OC: Skylighter itself appears to be moving slowly from the prior coordinates to landfall at [coordinates enclosed]  
OC: Plan your engagements accordingly.  
OC: This message will repeat on all bands.

~

Partial transcript of Trollian channel Grumpy Shut-In Entertainment Hour.  
  
CC: )(ey everyone!  
CC: Karcrab, I don’t know if you know about t)(is or not, but t)(ere’s a glubbing )(uge monster coming rig)(t for you!  
CG: YEAH, I KNOW.  
CC: W)(ere are t)(e Jaegers?  
CG: THE SHORT ANSWER IS JAEGER PILOTS ARE TERRIBLE AND I’M GOING TO DIE.  
AG: This new Kaiju put a claw right through Imperial Vanguard’s midsection and then fired something at the sky.  
AG: Now it’s coming our way and we’re going to have to stop it ourselves.  
AG: This is the 8est day ever!!!!!!!!  
CG: FEFERI, OBVIOUSLY YOU MISSED THE ACCOSTGUARDS GETTING RIPPED APART BY IT ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.  
CG: CAN’T YOUR MONSTROUS FREAK OF A LUSUS DO SOMETHING?  
CC: Not unless you want )(er to wipe out everyone from olive down t)(e first time s)(e gets injured!  
AG: Yeah, it’s up to us!  
GA: In Case You Cant Tell Vriska Is Very Excited  
GA: Myself I Am Less Enthused At The Prospect Of Being Ground Into Small Pieces By Something A Hundred Times My Size  
AG: Hey, come on, it’ll 8e easy!  
AG: I’ve got a castle full of doomsday weapons I’ve 8een waiting to fire at something, and since Eridan finally worked out the limits of my targeting range I guess an invading Kaiju will have to do.  
CC: I’m going to swim out to t)(e Jaeger and see if t)(e pilots are still alive.  
CG: YOU DO THAT.  
CG: I’LL KEEP COWERING IN MY HIVE, IF IT’S OKAY WITH ALL OF YOU.  
GA: I Dont Think You Really Need To Worry About Your Blood Status Now  
GA: The Imperial Military Has Larger Fish To Lase From Orbit  
GA: If They Didnt Arrest Sollux For Suggesting They Insert Their Thinkpans Into Their Nooks And Making Obscene Gestures With A Science Pointer Theyre Not Going To Care About You  
CG: EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.  
CG: I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE. AT LEAST IF I’M CRUSHED BY A KAIJU IT’LL BE IMPERSONAL.

~

Makkoh woke to find a troll she didn’t know staring down at her. A seadweller, with a purple streak in his quiff, and swept back horns; a youngish troll, but close enough to her in hue that he could feasibly be either ally or threat. Part of her wanted to leap up and into a defensive stance but the crushing pain in her shoulder told her that would be unwise. Besides, he was young. She could take him if it really came to it.

“Who are you?” she managed.

“Ampora,” he snapped. “Eridan. Thanks for lettin’ the fuckin’ Kaiju live, by the way.”

Makkoh pushed herself upright and tried to ignore the colors flashing in her ganderbulbs.

“And you’re welcome for nineteen successful kills,” she said. “Where’s Raylei?”

Ampora pointed. “Out cold, but alive. You think you two can Drift again?”

Makkoh glared at him. Who did he think he was, strutting around her cockpit like he owned it? He wasn’t eight sweeps old if he was a perigee. Arrogant little snot.

“Not if he doesn’t wake up,” she said. “What would be the point, anyway? The _Vanguard_ ’s a wreck.”

Ampora sneered at her. “Did you check the damage report? Your Jaeger’s mostly intact. It’s your engine that’s gone. That Kaiju, Skylighter, poked a hole right through you, took out your psionic.”

“Irefah’s dead?”

“What do you care? But, yeah, she’s dead. She woke up for a second, said somethin’ incredibly rude to me, and died. She didn’t think much of seadwellers, apparently.”

“We’re screwed, then,” Makkoh said, collapsing back onto her uninjured side. “If she was okay we could have got to the shore on automatic pilot, at least, but without a power source...”

Ampora grinned unpleasantly.

“Oh, don’t worry,” he said. “We’ve got a power source.”

~

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
  
CA: i just wwant you to knoww before wwe start that i wwouldnt normally be communicatin wwith you unless it wwas a emergency  
TA: and every day ii take a liittle tiime out to thank whatever benevolent force 2aw fiit to 2pare me your obnoxiiou2 2ea2hiit.  
CA: hey you should be thanking me for wwastin my vvaluable time on you  
TA: ii2n’t thii2 an emergency?  
TA: ii2n’t all our tiime by defiiniitiion valuable iin an emergency?  
CA: yeah wwell mine doubly so  
CA: did you see that  
CA: me paying lip servvice to your dreadful duality fixation to showw just howw seriously i take this unpleasant convversation  
TA: ju2t get on wiith iit  
CA: the yellowwblood wwho powwered the jaeger is dead but the rest of it is operational  
CA: come here so wwe can plug you in  
TA: no.  
TA: fuck you, no.  
CA: howw can i put this so evven your disgraceful little mustard brain can process it  
CA: get in the robot sol  
TA: no.  
CA: wwhy wwont you get in the robot sol  
CA: if you dont get in the robot wwe wwill all die  
TA: fiind another battery.  
  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]  
  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]  
  
CC: Sollux!  
CC: I was about to ask you an enormous favor on be)(alf of all trollkind, but t)(en I saw -Eridan )(ad already gone and asked you in t)(e worst way possible!  
TA: don’t tell me you’re goiing to ha22le me about thii2 too?  
TA: ii know how tho2e thiing2 work. ii’m not lettiing anyone cut off my liimb2 ju2t 2o they get to liive on.  
TA: 2ooner or later the2e thiing2 wiill kiill u2 anyway and ii’d prefer to 2tiill be able to giive everyone a re2oundiing mediian maniipulatiion flange when they do.  
CC: You don’t )(ave to do t)(at!  
CC: We only need enoug)( power to get it to t)(e s)(ore, you can just )(old onto t)(e wires wit)( your claws.  
CC: Please?  
CC: In my capacity as future empress of Alternia: please?? 38D  
TA: ..  
TA: fiine, ok.  
TA: but how are you goiing to get me out there?  
TA: ii’m not riidiing wiith eriidan.  
CC: Just leave it to me 38)  
  
cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

~

The Kaiju, Skylighter, was a brute of a thing unlike anything Terezi had ever seen: taller than Sollux’ hivescraper, bloated like it’d been stung by a thousand insects, with a half-dozen eyes set almost comically small in his enormous head, it looked like something out of a daymare. Certainly it could have swallowed Razorfrond, the only other Kaiju Terezi had ever seen in the flesh, whole.

She’d caught the wideband transmission at the academy, saw the monster was headed directly for the peninsula that was home to Karkat, Tavros, Vriska, and Equius’ hives, and took to Pyralspite immediately, on the remote chance that she could help, but as she watched Skylighter destroy another Accostguard frigate with a swipe of its claw she decided she definitely didn’t want her lusus within grabbing distance.

A buzz from her pack let her know someone was trying to contact her.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]  
  
GC: WH4T3V3R YOUR3 4BOUT TO T3LL M3 1T C4N W41T  
GC: 1M W4TCH1NG TH3 4CCOSTGU4RD G3T TURN3D 1NTO F1SHB41T SH1P BY SH1P  
GC: JUST T3LL M3 YOUR3 NOT 1N YOUR H1V3 R1GHT NOW  
CG: OF COURSE I’M IN MY HIVE, WHERE ELSE WOULD I BE?  
CG: IF I STEP OUTSIDE SOMEONE WILL SEE MY EYES AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY “MUTANT ABOMINATION” I’LL BE ON THE SHARP END OF AN IMPERIAL FORKING COMMITTEE.  
GC: 1 H4V3NT FORGOTT3N 4BOUT YOUR SC4ND4LOUSLY D3L1C1OUS C4NDY BLOOD!  
GC: BUT HON3STLY 1F YOU ST3P OUTS1D3 R1GHT NOW YOUR3 ONLY GO1NG TO S33 4 LOT OF TROLLS RUNN1NG 4W4Y FROM TH3 CO4ST 4S F4ST 4S TH3Y C4N  
GC: TH1S 1S 4BSOLUT3LY TH3 WRONG T1M3 TO WORRY 4BOUT G3TT1NG 1MPR1SON3D FOR B31NG 1N4PPROPR14T3LY HU3D >:|  
CG: YOU WORRY ABOUT THE GIANT MONSTER HEADING RIGHT FOR ME, I’LL WORRY ABOUT MY BLOOD AND ITS DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON MY LIFESTYLE.  
CG: ANYWAY, I HAVE A FAVOR TO ASK.  
CG: THE JAEGER THAT FOUGHT THE OTHER KAIJU EARLIER IS STILL IN OK CONDITION. THERE ISN’T ALL THAT MUCH STRUCTURAL DAMAGE AND ONE OF THE PILOTS HAS ALREADY COME AROUND, BUT WE NEED TO GET IT TO THE SHORELINE SO WE CAN FIX IT UP PROPERLY.  
CG: GOG ONLY KNOWS HOW BUT FEFERI GOT SOLLUX TO AGREE TO POWER IT AT LEAST ENOUGH TO GET IT TO DRY LAND. CAN YOU TAKE HIM TO IT?  
GC: NO PROBL3M!  
GC: PYROP3 T4X1 S3RV1C3S 1S 4LW4YS R34DY TO 3XT3ND 4 M3RC1FUL PRONG TO TH3 TROLL 1N N33D >:]  
GC: 1M 4LR34DY ON MY W4Y  
  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

~

Pyralspite flew slow circles around the waist of the Jaeger _Imperial Vanguard_ , giving Sollux the opportunity properly to assess just how badly he didn’t want to get anywhere near its power core. Jaegers had in recent sweeps overtaken starships as both the primary vocation and number one cause of death for trolls of his caste and abilities, and he had spent the last several perigees constructing a small interstellar craft, adapted from plans pirated from the husktop of one Equius Zahhak. Equius had a while ago decided to design a majestic space-capable Jaeger so that should one ever become necessary he would be ready to build it and curry favor with the Imperial elite, and Sollux had been only too pleased to repurpose the Jaeger’s escape capsule into a ship capable of taking himself and Karkat far away from those who would either enslave or murder them. Sollux was only a little bit sad that he would probably never get to see the reaction of the top brass to a space-capable combat robot shaped like an enormous and singularly well-endowed horse.

“Okay,” he repeated for the sixth time, glaring at the hole the Kaiju had made right through the belly of the Jaeger. “Okay.”

He took a deep breath.

“Take me in, TZ.”

Sollux tried not to notice that the engine core room was spattered liberally with dried yellow blood.

~

Partial transcript of Trollian channel Grumpy Shut-In Entertainment Hour.  
  
GC: TH3 V4NGU4RD 1S N34RLY 4T TH3 SHOR3!  
GC: 3QU1US 4ND N3P3T4 4R3 YOU R34DY?  
CT: D --> I was hatched ready  
AC: :33 < we’ve got a heap of broken robots and a heap of almost broken robots  
AC: :33 < show us the holes and we’ll patch them up! X33  
AG: That’s your plan? You’re going to ram ro8ots into all the cracks in the Jaeger and call it done?  
CT: D --> We would not be so f001ish  
CT: D --> Nepeta is merely overe%cited  
AC: :33 < shoosh that’s exactly what we’re going to do!  
AC: :33 < he just wants everyone to think it’s very technical  
CC: )(ow long will you need?  
CT: D --> There is no way to know until I have been able to visually assess the number of robots required for each crack  
CT: D --> How long do we have  
GC: NOT LONG 3NOUGH >:\  
GC: TH3R3S NOTH1NG L3FT OF TH3 4CCOSTGU4RD  
GC: NO TROLLS B3TW33N 1T 4ND TH3 SHOR3  
GC: DO W3 H4V3 4 PL4N B?  
CG: WE BARELY HAVE A PLAN A. THE EXISTENCE OF A PLAN B WOULD IMPLY A LEVEL OF COMPETENCE OR SERENDIPITY I DON’T THINK ANY OF US HAS THE SKILL OR LUCK EVER TO ACCESS.  
CC: )(old on please!  
CC: We are receiving a transmission )(ere in t)(e cockpit. Sollux, would you mind connecting it to t)(e c)(annel?  
TA: you wouldn’t thiink ii wa2 bu2y poweriing a thiirty 2torey robot would you?  
TA: ii have to do everythiing around here.  
TA: there, done.  
OC: This is the Orbital Control Platform on the emergency channel. Raylei, Makkoh, can you read me?  
CC: Raylei is still unconscious. Makko)( was briefly awake and able to communicate but s)(e is sleeping now.  
CC: T)(is is t)(e Imperial )(eiress Feferi Peixes. I and my associates )(ave, wit)( t)(e permission of Makko)( Morrii, taken control of t)(e Imperial Vanguard. We plan to repair it and combat t)(e Kaiju.  
CC: We )(ave a power source, and we )(ave mec)(anics. And most importantly we )(ave t)(e motivation! 38)  
OC: Do you have pilots? If Makkoh and Raylei remain unconscious the Jaeger is useless!  
AG: Yeah, of course we have pilots!  
AG: Do you think we’re stupid?  
OC: Who is this? Who is speaking?  
AG: Vriska Serket, Control. I can pilot this thing!  
OC: You have the training? And a Drift partner?  
AG: Yeah!!!!!!!!  
OC: This seems... unlikely. But if you have the confidence of the heiress...  
OC: We will leave the operational details up to you. Your Imperial Majesty, we are not able to launch any Jaegers or any support craft, so you will be on your own. Restoring our systems is going slowly. We have enough power stored in the coils to fire once from the laser, but remember that this usually only stuns the Kaiju. We can do that now or we can do it on your prompting to assist in the fight.  
CC: You’d better do it now! We need a little more time.  
OC: Acknowledged. We will begin the firing sequence.  
OC: It is probable that we will lose contact after firing. Is there any more information you require, or any more you need to impart?  
AG: Just don’t forget the name of the troll who saved all your spine terminators!  
AG: It’s spelled S E R K E T.  
AG: Trolls get it wrong sometimes.  
AG: 8riefly :::;D  
CC: No, t)(ank you, Orbital Control. Please fire as soon as you are ready.  
OC: Good hunting. Orbital Control Platform out.  
TA: oh thank fuckiing jegu2.  
TA: can ii plea2e go back to merely almo2t 2queeziing my 2ponge out of my auriicular flap2 wiith every 2tep thii2 fuckiing thiing take2?  
TA: or are there any more me22age2 you would liike relayed?  
TA: iit’2 almo2t the twelfth periigee, are there any fe2tiive greetiing2 you wii2h to tran2miit?  
CT: D --> Will somebody please silence this distressing lowb100d whining  
CT: D --> It is most disconcerting  
AC: :33 < *ac glares at ct and twitches her whiskers in irritation*  
AC: :33 < what have i told you about being nice??  
CT: D --> Nepeta do not address me that way in front of our inferiors  
AC: :33 < i won’t have to if you stop being such a greowch!  
CG: I HOPE IT’S OKAY WITH THE ASSEMBLED WASTE CHUTE EXAMINATION BRIGADE IF I STEER THE CONVERSATION BACK TOWARDS CONSTRUCTIVE WATERS, BUT  
CG: VRISKA, WHAT TERRIBLE THING HAPPENED INSIDE YOUR THINKPAN TO MAKE YOU ASSUME YOU CAN PILOT THIS THING?  
AG: It’ll 8e fine, it’s not like it can possi8ly 8e hard.  
CG: WHAT.  
CG: THEY HAVE A WHOLE ACADEMY FOR THIS, YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU GO TO TRAIN?  
CG: WHAT TRAINING DO YOU HAVE, EXCEPT IN HOW TO BE THE MOST PERFECTLY SHAPED PAIN IN MY LOWER EXTREMITIES?  
AG: Training is for people with no talent, dum8ass.  
AG: When it gets here I’ll put a helmet on and you idiots can all take turns.  
AG: Surely one of you will 8e competent enough to Drift with me.  
TA: ye2, everyone enjoy mergiing your 2oul2 wiith the murdertroll who kiilled aa, ii’ll ju2t be doiing all the real work  
CG: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCKING FINE.  
CG: THAT AT LEAST LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE A PLAN A.  
CG: SOLLUX POWERS THE JAEGER, AND I’M SORRY SOLLUX BUT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP DOING THAT WHEN IT COMES TO THE FIGHT, UNLESS YOU KNOW ANY OTHER SUPREMELY POWERFUL PSIONICS WHO VRISKA HASN’T KILLED ALREADY.  
CG: TEREZI KEEPS FLYING RECON. FEFERI STAY IN THE COCKPIT FOR NOW, WHEN IT COMES TO THE FIGHT I GUESS YOU CAN THROW CUTTLEFISH AT IT OR SOMETHING? ERIDAN MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THAT RIDICULOUS ANCESTRAL GODWEAPON YOU CLING TO LIKE A WIGGLER WITH A TAXIDERMIED CHOLERBEAR PUP, MAYBE ALL THAT PRACTICE YOU GOT SHOOTING DEFENSELESS SEA LIFE WILL HELP YOU OUT HERE.  
CG: NEPETA AND EQUIUS CAN CLIMB ALL OVER THE VANGUARD LIKE A CAT AND A BIG SWEATY ABOMINATION AND SHOVE ROBOTS ANYWHERE THEY CAN FIND ROOM FOR THEM.  
CG: AND AT SOME POINT EVERYONE GETS A CHANCE TO SHARE THEIR THINKPAN WITH VRISKA, I’M SURE IT’LL BE FUN.  
CG: I’LL CONTINUE TO TREMBLE IN MY HIVE.  
GC: YOUR3 ST1LL NOT COM1NG TO TH3 P4RTY K4RK4T?  
CG: A GIANT MONSTER BEARING DOWN ON US FROM ABOVE? I DON’T SEE HOW THAT’S A PARTY.  
AG: 8e that way. More glory for me XXXXD  


~

“It’s not my fault you’re all useless chumps!”

Vriska threw the Drift helmet as hard as she could at the deck, perversely hoping it would shatter. She was so close! Every time another troll put on the other helmet she could feel the whispers of their thoughts, but as hard as she pushed them they could never quite make the connection. She’d assumed that with her mind control powers it would be easy, but whether or not she took control of them they just couldn’t quite get there.

She could invade anyone’s mind any time she wanted, but no-one would—or could—share their memories with her.

Or almost no-one. She shoo’d Tavros out of the cockpit and fired up one of the terminals.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
  
AG: Hey 8rave leader.  
AG: How’s the cowering in your hive going?  
CG: ACCEPTABLY. HOW’S THE DRIFTING GOING? SUCCESSFULLY BULLIED ANYONE INTO SHARING THAT HELLSCAPE YOU CALL A COGNITION PUMP YET?  
AG: No! None of these idiots can Drift with me.  
AG: I don’t know what it is, and it’s seriously 8ugging me!!!!!!!!  
CG: NOBODY CAN DRIFT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE A NEVERENDING DAYMARE, SO WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE. I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD BUG YOU. I KNOW IT BUGS ME.  
AG: Come Drift with me!  
CG: WHAT, FUCK, NO.  
AG: Please, Karkat? ::::)  
CG: DOUBLE PLUS FUCK NO AND DON’T EVER TRY AND SMILE SWEETLY AGAIN YOU RAGING PSYCHO.  
AG: Seriously! I 8et you’d 8e almost okay at it.  
CG: HIGH PRAISE.  
AG: Don’t make me try and persuade you, I get it, you’re a stu88orn little wiggler whose delusions of grandeur left him sweeps ago and I’m the huge 8itch you love to hate. We could play our roles until the Kaiju comes home 8ut we don’t have the TIME!!!!!!!!  
CG: I HAVEN’T BEEN OUTSIDE SINCE MY GANDERBULBS BEGAN ANNOUNCING MY HIDEOUS MUTANT CONDITION TO THE ENTIRE LOCAL PLATEAU AND YOU THINK A LITTLE THING LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD WILL COAX ME OUT OF MY HIVE.  
CG: I INTEND TO STAY IN HERE WATCHING CRIMINALLY UNDERAPPRECIATED MOVIES AND EATING TROLL RAMEN UNTIL I DIE OR THE WHOLE PLACE GETS EATEN OUT FROM UNDER ME, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.  
AG: Oh, I pro8a8ly should have mentioned.  
AG: I was talking to Terezi on another terminal.  
AG: You have three minutes to get dressed or you’ll 8e riding a dragon naked.  
AG: That’s a direct quote, 8y the way. I think there was something like this on the end: >:]  
  
arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

~

Kanaya hauled herself up the rope leading to the cockpit with little grace, clambering over the rim and wishing she hadn’t worn a skirt. She found in the cockpit what she expected to find: Karkat, sat in the corner with a Drift helmet in his lap; Vriska, nowhere to be seen.

“It didn’t work?” she said.

“It worked,” he said. “For about a second. We got into each other’s nugbones and for just a moment it seemed like everything was going to be okay. And then it was like I was kicked out.”

“Kicked out?” Kanaya said, walking over to Karkat’s corner and sitting down beside him.

“Yeah. I was all set to let her take control, and I couldn’t even do that. Surprising absolutely no trolls anywhere, I am useless. My blood is useless, my horns are useless; even my thought condenser is useless.”

“How do you know it was you? Maybe it was her?”

Karkat laughed. “Nah. She’s been in and out of people’s heads since before she even had limbs. It was my failing. And yours and everyone else’s, but especially mine.”

Kanaya regarded her friend. Not as short as he used to be, Karkat Vantas was a coiled spring of anger, of fear, of self-loathing; a vast amount of energy held at the point of release waiting only for a target, which was usually his own self-esteem. He was one of the enduring constants in her life, perhaps the only person who would reliably open his husktop and give of his time when she needed it. Probably the only reason he’d never found a moirail was that he was much better at helping than he was at being helped.

“Karkat Vantas,” she said. “Put on that helmet right now.”

“What? Why?”

“You’re going to Drift,” said Kanaya. “With me.” 

~

 _This is the Drift_ , they thought together, diving below the surface of an ocean of shared memories. _This is where we are truly exposed. One hurt. One pain._

_One life._

Kanaya Maryam and Karkat Vantas held hands in the cockpit of the _Imperial Vanguard_. In their heads, all was chaos.

That time Vriska kissed Tavros and the beginning of the crumbling of their moirallegiance. That time Gamzee was sick on the beach and they held his hair out of his face until the morning came but he never acknowledged their existence. That time Terezi kissed them and all the blood rushed to their cheeks and she _grinned_ like she’d just uncovered the world’s most scandalous secret, and then kissed them again as if to reassure them that no-one else would ever know. The distance between them and Terezi now. The distance between them and Vriska now. The distance they were required to maintain in their efforts to stop one or other of their friends from self-destructing. The distance.

Everything

was

so

 _hard_.

And no-one understood.

In the real world, their claws left bloody lines on their knuckles.

In the Drift, they saw every memory, every secret, every embarrassing and mortifying and terrifying morsel of time experienced by their shared selves.

They began to organize.

This, with Gamzee, that was Karkat. This, with Vriska, that was Kanaya. _This is you and this is me. This is us and this is everything_.

 _This is the Drift, and everything is going to be okay_.

Together, they opened their eyes.

~

The Kaiju, Skylighter, made landfall like an angry god.

~

arsenicCatnip [AC] opened memo on board Big Damn Heroes!!!  
  
AC: :33 < places, trolls!  
AC: :33 < aerial wing, in purrsition?  
GC: CHECK >:]  
AG: Yeah, yeah.  
AC: :33 < aquatic furces?  
CC: Just s)(ow us w)(ere to s)(oot!  
AC: :33 < equius?  
CT: D --> I will do what is necessary  
AC: :33 < ground team, in purrlace?  
AT: i SUPPOSE,  
AC: :33 < engine room?  
TA: iif ii 2ay no can ii go 2omewhere far away from here and waiit for you all to diie?  
CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT.  
AC: :33 < pilots?  
GA: I Would Like To Express A Similar But Less Fatalistic Sentiment To Sollux  
AG: I still think we should rename the Jaeger.  
AG: “Imperial Vanguard” is 8ooooooooring!  
CG: WE AGREED THAT WHOEVER PILOTED IT COULD RENAME IT, SO YOUR SUGGESTIONS OF “FLUORITE OCTET”, “THE MARQUISE”, AND “AWESOME KICK8ONE KAIJUKILLER THE SECOND” HAVE ALL BEEN VETOED.  
CG: I WANTED TO CALL IT THE “OH JEGUS WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE”  
GA: But I Exercised My Right As Also Pilot To Veto That  
GA: Its Called The Imperial Vanguard And It Doesnt Belong To Us  
GA: Just In Case Anyone Or Actually Everyone Had Forgotten That Fact  
TA: can we ju2t go?  
TA: my headache ii2 gettiing a headache.  
AC: :33 < okay, everyone!  
AC: :33 < *ac stands up on the tallest rock and roars mightily*  
AC: :33 < let’s go save the world!

~

Sollux Captor, in the belly of the _Imperial Vanguard_ , flexed his claws, cricked his nugbone, shrugged, and plunged his hands into the exposed cables that had once been a part of the body of the yellowblood who previously served as the Jaeger’s engine, whose name nobody but Sollux could remember.

“This is for you, Irefah Destry,” he muttered. “May you rest in peace, and may I please please fucking gog not end up like you.”

The engine room lit up like a 3D movie, and the _Imperial Vanguard_ tooks its first steps on land.

Kanaya and Karkat, in the cockpit, let the legs of the _Vanguard_ guide them as much as they guided it. They could see from a dozen cameras in and outside the Jaeger, and could shift the input from any one to the center of their vision at any time; it was designed to have no blind spots. With an auxiliary eye, they saw Pyralspite, laden with a half-dozen of Vriska’s failed doomsday weapons, and Vriska and Terezi themselves, flying overhead.

The _Vanguard_ crested the hill and the pilots got their first view of Skylighter just as a small, wet-looking explosion momentarily stunned it; Tavros was clearly already in place and baiting it to come closer to the _Vanguard_ , closer to the shoreline.

The Kaiju shook its head as if to clear it, looked momentarily at the tiny troll in his motorized four-wheel device, focused on the Jaeger that had built up to a run, and whirled about, layers of loose skin drifting across its mammoth belly.

Skylighter charged.

~

The first time the _Vanguard_ hit Skylighter Kanaya felt like her whole body rang like a bell with the impact. The peculiar tripling effect of the Drift had her feeling her own body, Karkat’s, and the Jaeger’s as one, and she had to remind herself that it wasn’t her fist that impacted on the monster’s bloated skin; it wasn’t _her_ knuckles that felt like they were bleeding.

CC: You )(ave to get it back into t)(e water!  
CC: We )(ave some presents waiting for it!  
GA: Yes Just A Moment I Will Have A Polite Conversation With The Alien Monster  
GA: Excuse Me Sir Or Madam Or Neither Or Both  
GA: Would You Like To Reconvene To The Ocean Where My Friend Can Throw Poison Harpoons At You

_Vanguard_ gripped with its fist and swung the other towards the creature’s head. Kanaya hoped that it was as purpose-designed as its actions so far suggested; that it was merely intended to take out the orbital platforms and an already damaged Jaeger and then wreak havoc on those who couldn’t defend themselves; that it could not, in point of fact, fight.

Skylighter dodged the second fist with a speed that belied its size and followed up with a grab of its own, taking the _Vanguard_ in both of its enormous appendages and lifting it bodily off the ground.

CG: FUCK.  
GA: Agreed

Muscles moved around in Skylighter’s limbs and there was a brief impression of weightlessness in the cockpit before the pilots realized they were airborne: the Kaiju had thrown them. Between them they called upon all of Kanaya’s memories of speed and agility, and managed to orient the _Vanguard_ ’s limbs such that they touched down upright and in a fighting position.

AC: :33 < you n33d to get it towards the water and it looks like it’s going to charge  
AC: :33 < so let it  
AC: :33 < get out of the way at the last second  
AC: :33 < vriska, terezi, try to encourage it into the water  
AG: What do you think, Pyrope? The Octagonal Giga-Smasher or the 8om8lette 8fold?  
GC: 1 SUGG3ST WH1CH3V3R ON3 M4K3S TH3 B1GG3ST B4NG  
AG: So 8oth together then? :::;D  
GC: BOTH TOG3TH3R TH3N >:]

Skylighter shifted its stance and started to lope towards the Jaeger. Karkat and Kanaya made sure to maintain an image of readiness.

CG: NOW!  
GA: Im Already In Your Pan You Dont Need To Yell

The creature saw the _Vanguard_ pirouette away and seemed about to turn when Pyralspite swooped down, bearing two of Vriska’s supposed superweapons. One explosion to each side of its head seemed to confuse it and the pilots took advantage by completing their turn and landing behind it. Both of the _Imperial Vanguard_ ’s fists plunged into its ample back and they pushed as hard as they could. Skylighter had no choice but to take up the momentum or fall over; it barely maintained its balance and ended the maneuver on the shoreline.

CC: A little furt)(er please!  
GC: ON 1T

Pyralspite swooped again, but this time the Kaiju was ready and swiped upwards with a claw. The dragon lusus banked as hard as it could and the claw scraped against Pyralspite’s belly. Terezi howled with pain.

AG: Looks like Pyralspite’s out of the fight for now.  
CG: IS TEREZI OK?  
AG: Yeah, and her lusus, too. Just a scratch, unless it turns out to have poison claws or something.  
GC: 1T S4W US COM1NG!  
GC: 1T H4S TOO M4NY 3Y3S  
GC: SOM3ON3 T4K3 OUT 1TS 3Y3S  
CT: D --> I will need a moment  
CT: D --> A distra%ion would be welcome

The _Vanguard_ reared up on one leg and aimed a kick at Skylighter. The Kaiju dodged but it gave time for the tiny shape of Equius Zahhak to launch himself from the nearby cliffside and onto the monster’s back. Karkat and Kanaya tried to look threatening while Equius scrambled up towards its head, looking for all Alternia like a tiny bug on a misshapen troll.

Skylighter didn’t notice Equius until he kicked it in the eye. Instantly it clapped a protective limb over its face; Equius was too slow to dodge the enormous palm.

AC: :33 < equius!!!  
CT: D --> I am  
CT: D --> Well  
CT: D --> Enough  
CT: D --> Please punch the monster with all your STRENGTH  
CT: D --> I am not sure mine will hold for long

The Jaeger’s fists struck simultaneously on the opposite side of Skylighter’s body. Torn between protecting its eyes and its body, the Kaiju flailed and span. Equius leapt into the water.

CC: I’ve got -Equius!

Skylighter righted itself in time for the _Vanguard_ ’s kick to land square in the center of its stomach. It pitched backwards into the water, landing on its back and sending water spraying all around it. Moments later its body rocked to explosions from the mines Eridan had towed into position.

In the Drift, Kanaya and Karkat linked hands and minds, and stepped forward. The _Vanguard_ ’s knee came down on the creature’s belly, the Jaeger’s fist against its head, and Skylighter was pinned.

 _Plasma cannon_ , they thought, and in the belly of _Imperial Vanguard_ Sollux renewed his grip on the slippery, bloody cables and put everything of himself into them. He almost wished for a moment that they _had_ cut him open and wired him up because the sheer resistance of skin was blocking him. In front of him the other power levels dipped; he concentrated on keeping the limbs at full power to keep the Kaiju at their mercy.

He pushed and pushed and it was too much.

“If I die here,” he muttered, “and fuck it feels like I’m going to, I will haunt you, Karkat Vantas, I will find you when you are relieving yourself on the ablution trap and I am going to _make you **piss on your shoes.**_ ”

The plasma cannon was only 40% charged. Sollux could feel himself weakening, his psionic power reaching further and further into him, taking his life and pouring it through the barrier of his own skin and into the cables. He dropped to one knee, and then fell forward, spent, energy levels dropping. He didn’t even have it in him to brace himself for when his thinkpan hit the floor.

It didn’t.

“Sollux,” something whispered.

“What the fuck...?” he moaned.

“Sollux, take my hand.”

He opened his eyes and saw no-one, but felt hands on his own, felt a warmth he hadn’t felt for sweeps, felt someone he thought was long gone take him in her arms and find his energy and add herself to it. He found his mind expanding, his body forgotten, the power of the psionics taking him into the cables and into the body of the _Vanguard_ and into the Drift.

With one shared thought, Kanaya and Karkat and Sollux and Aradia fired. 

**Author's Note:**

> I take full responsibility for all spelling errors, typos, quirk failures, and general hopelessness.


End file.
